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Gardening in the Demon-Haunted World

Dear Reader (especially those of you under pressure), 

Let’s pretend Festivus came early this year. By which I mean, I’m going to begin by airing a grievance.

The “parking spots available” sign at Reagan National Airport is a tool of Xezbeth,  Belial, or one of the other ancient demons of deception. I once read that in an astounding number of elevators, the “close door” button does nothing. Also, in many cities, the “press to walk” button is just a sop to the human desire for agency and control, but actually does nothing. This enrages me, but nowhere near as much as the “spots available” sign, which seems to just generate random numbers to get people to drive through the garage like a mouse following up on a rumor about cheese at the end of the maze. I imagine that Xezbeth, Belial, and the gang are at the foot of Lucifer’s throne laughing their asses off as I drive in desperate pursuit of these utterly fictional parking spaces. 

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