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A Unified Field Theory of Trump

Dear Reader (especially those of you deemed Null and void), 

Because of travel, sleep deprivation, some minor anger issues, a changing news climate, a form of writer’s block that makes the color chartreuse smell like goat cheese, the threat of CHUDs, and a flare-up in my decades-long Tong war with a radical faction of Up With People (Yes, it still exists!), I tried to write Wednesday’s G-File three times. And I finally gave up on it, relegating it to the apocrypha of the Goldberg Extended Universe along with Episode 11 of The Remnant, the Couch’s origin story, Reagan 35x, the Cosmo Interviews, etc. 

Note: This is a very long G-File. So if you want to skip ahead to the section on the logic of nationalism, that’s fine. I just need to get a bunch of stuff out of my head. 

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